Do you ever wonder how your marriage is doing? I mean, really doing.

I’m someone who enjoys knowing where I stand. I remember asking my wife a while ago if she felt like I made her a priority. Her answer: “Sometimes.”


It was hard to hear that. But it would have been far worse to not know that she felt that way.

Christa and I had a date night less than a week ago. During our date, I asked her if she wanted to do a marriage checkup. I had learned about the marriage checkup from Randy Bezet, Pastor of Bayside Community Church.

A marriage checkup consists of these six questions:

1. What’s one thing I like about you?

It is great to start off the checkup on a good note. Telling your spouse something you like about them gives them a sense of self-worth.

2. What new information do you have for me?

Life can be incredibly busy, and during certain seasons your marriage can feel like two ships passing in the night. You don’t really know how your spouse’s day went, and sometimes each of you can miss some very important information.

By asking this question, you show that you care about what’s happening in your spouse’s life. It also gives you a chance to catch up on the pertinent information you need to know.

3. What’s one question you have for me – about anything?

This may be a question you’ve wanted to ask for ages, but it never seemed like the right time. This is the time.

4. What’s one complaint you have about me?

This can be the most important question and the one whose answer requires the most maturity to hear. One key to this question is that it must relate to something behavioral.

5. What is one dream, hope or wish that you have?

In the midst of busyness, you can forget that your spouse has dreams and ambitions. By asking this question, you show that you’re still interested in making their dreams come true.

6. What’s one prayer request?

You can ask this question, and then grab your spouse’s hand and pray. This is a great way to end the marriage checkup.

Though some of these questions will be painful, they will help you both know where your marriage is at.

Our last date was amazing, and the marriage checkup added much to our conversation. If you need to rekindle dating in your marriage, check out this post.

Take what you learned in this post, add a question if you like – and begin the conversation!

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